Dating and Love / For the Girls

How to Join My Man-Harem

Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of Kamryn’s elite man-harem. If you meet all the requirements listed below, please carefully read and answer the following questions.  There is also a list of practical skills, all of which you must be able to perform in person if you are chosen for an interview.  Thank you, and good luck.

Requirements

  • 4-year degree (concentration in human sexuality a plus) with a minimum GPA of 3.5 and one year harem work or 2-year degree plus two years harem experience with letter of recommendation
  • Strong written and verbal communication skills, including knowledge of the differences between your/you’re and there/their/they’re.
  • Current full-body, shirtless photograph to be submitted with application
  • Exemplary sense of humor and wit
  • Tactful, pleasant disposition and the abilities to defuse dramatic mood swings and assist me during bouts of hyper- and hypo-decisiveness
  • No strong religious affiliations will be tolerated, as religion tends to skew the dynamics involved in a non-traditional harem lifestyle

Ryan Reynolds, you are exempt from applying. You're in. Just call me.

Short-answer Questions

1)    Please describe the things that make you want to be a member of a harem.  If you are chosen for an interview, we will conduct a full SWOT analysis.

2)    Do you possess any notable skills or specialties, including but not limited to cooking, cleaning, heavy lifting, automotive maintenance, dancing, serenading, dressing well, overall sexual prowess, etc.?

3)    Please describe in some detail an instance when one or more of these skills has been of direct benefit to your Woman.

4)    Do you have any male friends or family members whom you believe to be as attractive or more so than you are?  If so, please list names and contact information.

5)    Please consider the following situation: In a PMS-induced rage, I say something that grossly insults your mother or your manhood.  How do you respond?

6)    Please consider the following situation: I tell you that we are going to a semi-formal dinner with friends in the city tonight.  Please describe your outfit and make a list of interesting topics to discuss.

Your resume looks great, but I'd like to review your alphabet-tongueing skills one more time.

Practical Skills Test

1)    Spell out the alphabet forward and backward with your tongue.  In cursive.

2)    Pick me up and carry me comfortably for a minimum of 10 yards.

3)    Cook me your favorite meal on the BBQ and recommend a wine to go with it.

4)    Demonstrate your massage skills with an emphasis on my shoulders and feet.

5)    Call my mother and my best friend, and talk to them for a minimum of 7 minutes each.  The impression you leave on them will be crucial to your success.

The Fine Print

  • If you are selected, your first priority will be maintaining my pleasure and happiness at all times and at all cost.
  • You will henceforth be contractually obligated to submit to me a request for permission to spend extracurricular time with any female to whom you are not related.  If permission is granted, documentation of the meeting must be submitted to me within 24 hours.
  • This is an unpaid position with a stipend for necessary purchases including clothing, hygiene products, etc.
  • Fighting among the man-harem members is strictly prohibited unless it is proven that you were fighting to defend my honor.
  • You will be properly fitted for a suit as well as a private cell in which you will remain until I am ready for you to pay attention to me.
  • Your privileges will increase with time and as you prove your worth.

Please email your answers to my questions, your resume, your shirtless photo and a letter of recommendation to;

kazam20@hotmail.com

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