Current Obessions / For the Girls / Miss Becca / Style

Save Your Ho Clothes for the Club

Acceptable things to wear to the office.

So, I’ve been in job interview hell the past few months. I always feel like I should get the job because I’m dressed for the part, but what can I say, my mom’s an actress. When I was a kid, I’d spend my summers going on auditions with her, watching her tear through her closet for ‘looks’. One day it was a “mom” look, the next day maybe a waitress, the day after that, (or, in so many cases, that afternoon) the business woman.  I don’t ever remember seeing my mom in office attire, because she never worked in an office. (The closest she got was my grandpa’s recording studio, but who wears a suit there?) My dad worked in an office forever, but was NOT a tie-guy until recently.  Naturally, I gathered my information from TV and magazines for the gaps in my style knowledge.

Although I’ve never worked in an office, I can tell you for absolute certainty what is NOT appropriate. I dress people ALL the time for these sorts of things. I have tailored more men’s suits than the bones in my back. Bleh. But this is a girl’s style issue, because let’s be honest guys, looking nice is not really that hard if you’ve got a button down and some slacks–us ladies have to mix things up!

Disclaimer:  I am very aware that this isn’t the 1980’s or Dynasty, and I am in NO way asking you to don shoulder pads and panty hose.  I am also aware that we all work in different places, and sometimes fashion wins (but don’t think you’re a fashion victim when chained to the desk). Just don’t forsake your style for sluttyness at work, okay? Thanks!

Time to revisit GOOD IDEA/BAD IDEA from Animaniacs regarding proper work attire.

SHOES (1st, because they’re my fave, and I suppose we should start from the bottom up)

Good Idea: Kitten Heels and Ballet Flats

  • Class
  • Comfort
  • Respectability

Bad Idea:  Stillettos over 3″ and Platforms over 4″

  • Not Classy
  • You’re not kidding anyone, they are not comfortable and you know it.
  • HO-city
  • Kim Kardashian is on the RED CARPET, folks. Chew on that!

SOCKS, TIGHTS, PEDS

Good Idea: When wearing pants, dark socks with dark pants and shoes.

  • Light pants, light socks, light shoes.
  • peds are awesome for secretly wanting to have not smelly/stinky/uncomfortable feet in shoes you can’t be seen wearing socks with.
  • Contrasting socks are okay, and can be way cute when done well!

Bad Idea: White socks with dress shoes. (REALLY??!?)

  • AND dress socks/dress shoes with SHORTS?  You look like you just came from a band competition. (I was a band geek, I can say it!)
  • Panty hose. Just. NO! (My mom always said they should come with a tube of Monistat. . . )

SKIRTS

Good Idea: Just like dress code in middle school, skirts shouldn’t be shorter than your fingertips when your arms are flat to your sides.

Bad Idea: Slits that don’t just make moving easier = everyone can see your butt.

  • You can find out if they show your butt, just turn around in the dressing room, please!
  • Also, this is the underwear area: nobody likes VPL, and this includes thongs. We can still see your thong underwear line, even when you think you’re wearing a thong to avoid one. LOOK IN THE MIRROR!
SHIRTS/BLAZER JACKETS
Good Idea:  Properly fitted button down tops, 1″ or less of cleavage
  • If the top gaps, wear a tank or t shirt underneath
  • If it’s too short, wear a tank or shirt underneath
  • If it’s a blazer, please, for the love of god, wear a shirt underneath (tank, t, whatever, just SOMETHING!)
Bad Idea: Buttons that gap, Midriffs that show (whether or not your arms are above your head), and too much cleavage.
  • Sheer anything = bad bad bad!
  • oh, and bra straps that show. and Spaghetti straps, no no no
Food for Thought:  This woman was told that she was too sexy. (I think she looked cute.)
I feel like this all the time. Judged for my size and shape and being called a slut for wearing the same thing as someone who is less buxom. “Enough is enough. Don’t be afraid.”

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3 thoughts on “Save Your Ho Clothes for the Club

  1. “…because let’s be honest guys, looking nice is not really that hard if you’ve got a button down and some slacks…”

    I hope you are aware of the dire consequences this will bring.

    😉

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