I can not drive past a doughnut place without having a daydream about eating nothing short of a dozen doughnut holes, possibly with a chocolate milk, or a super-sweet coffee.
I used to think that there is something wrong with me, that obsessing over eating 1000+ calories of fried and glazed lard was some type of mental binge eating, but I’ve come to realize that in all actuality, it’s just my inner fat kid coming to the surface and saying hello.
My friday posts for the next few weeks are going to be dedicated to embracing my inner fat kid. Cause I think we all wish we could just eat whatever we wanted all the time, without any consequences.
Today is going to be dedicated to doughnuts. I’ve always loved doughnuts. When I was very young my mother worked a job where she delivered salsa to grocery stores. On the earliest of mornings when I had to go with her she would bribe me, saying that if I was “reeeaaally gooood” I would get a doughnut. You’d never seen a child with better manners — possibly because I was sleepily fantasizing about my possible bounty. There must be some connection between those memories and why I still can’t say no if you put a doughnut in front of my face.
I’d like to say here’s a healthier option, but really nothing compares to a doughnut, kinda like how fat-free ranch tastes like ass if you’ve ever had normal ranch dressing. So I’m going to give you a couple options of ways to have your doughnuts (so your inner fat kid can be happy) while being slightly healthier, so you don’t cry when you try to button your pants tomorrow.
#1 Doughnut Hole Skewers-
My inner fat kid knows that if I’m going to have anything with doughnuts, fruit is a pretty good option. I probably wouldn’t choose blackberries and strawberries cause they’ll taste really tart with something supper sugary, but maybe some apple or banana would do the trick. Either way, add some fruit, subtract a few doughnut pieces and you’re on your way to being able to eat more than just breakfast.
#2 Bake them?
Yeah, I was skeptical about this one too… umm hello? Doughnuts are supposed to be fried. But for a mere 108 calories and 21 grams of carbohydrates (or so they claim), you could even have two.
Their “Baked Buttermilk Doughnuts withLemon Glaze” sounds like it could be tasty enough to satisfy IFK (Inner Fat Kid).
#3 Eat JustDoughnuts-
Look I’m not here to be your doctor, I’m just trying to help you come up with solutions to eat doughnuts and not be an outer fat kid. Eat them until you hit your calorie count, then take a nap that lasts the rest of the day. Obviously not the healthiest choice but if you can’t eat anymore why are you awake? Just go to bed. Tomorrow you will wake up very refreshed and you can go back to eating bran muffins.
#4 Pick a doughnut shop ___ miles away and walk there
According to Krispy Kreme and CalorieLab the average doughnut is anywhere from 200-450 calories. You’re supposed to burn about 60-100 calories a mile. Pick a treat, determine how far you’ll have to walk to burn it off, find a provider within that distance, and get walking. This may take hours, but look, if your IFK is screaming “EAT A DOUGHNUT” as IFKs tend to do, you’ve gotta find a way to satisfy. Plus no one will judge you for having a doughnut if you walked 4 1/2 hours.