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5 Ways to Remember Any Name

Oh shoot, that person just told me their name 15 seconds ago. Aaaand…it’s gone. Blast! If it weren’t for that shiny object in the corner. . . ooo cheese dip! (Focus.) Are ya tired of new names slipping through the cracks and wormholes of your mind? Never fear, help is here. Jump down the wormhole. Work with that scattered brain. Make the most of its cray-cray moves. Try tricking yourself into saying a name twice in your head, with something amusing and relevant (in your imagination) in the middle. Getting distracted has never been so productive! Give it a shot:

Let your freak starship fly.

1. Find weird connections using the music being played in the moment. “His name is Jake. Omg, I love Nicki Minaj. What other famous people have a name ending in -icki? Whatever happened to Ricki Lake? I just met Jake.” Booyah.

2. Tell yourself a super short story about your new friend’s name and two things that rhyme with it. “Molly bought holly for her trip to Bali. Molly.” Or “Vidya got riddaya cause she wouldn’t sit on ya. Vidya.” Who said it had to make sense?!

3. Choreograph your own version of the YMCA dance in your head, using the letters in their name. For the spelling challenged, no worries, they’ll never know! Bonus points for inventing a sweet rave light show. Possible symptoms: a faraway look and a bobbing head. Ladies, this can be hugely beneficial when trying to appear ‘aloof’ or ‘disinterested.’

4. Imagine you are King Kong and have just met your tiny blonde lady counterpart. Now say to yourself, “RAWWWRR, MELANIE!! I AM KONG and I’ve got you NOW, MELANIE!!! RAAAWR!!” Inside-your-head voices, kids.

king kong awkward face

I will conquer you, you pesky names. Grrr, be afraid!

5. Try this rhyme: “Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and Roger!” Roger? That doesn’t rhyme. (Spectacles, testacles, wallet, and Roger.) Nope, but sing-songy prose and amusing yourself go a long way on Memory Lane. (Spectacles, testicles, wallet and Roger.) Now replace Roger with the right name. Good luck getting it out of your head. 😉

And just like that, you’re ready to be uber-impressive at your next social gathering. Just remember these activities should only be happening in your alternate reality. No reason to share the goods with the crowd, ifyaknowwhatImean. But hey, if that monster voice slips out, or those groovy arms just won’t stay put, at least awkward stories are memorable, right?

I know you’ve got more tricks up your sleeves. Help the less fortunate! Share below. 🙂

Now if only I could find my keys…

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Photocred: Billboard.comChildren of the NinetiesThe Newest Movie

5 thoughts on “5 Ways to Remember Any Name

  1. This one is kinda boring, but I try to say their name back to them almost immedaitely. “hi my name is Kate.” Hey Kate, I’m Kris” or make some kind of personable connection like “Nice to meet you Kate, that’s my cousins name, I’m Kris”

    My problem is I forget the names of people I’ve known for forever. Or if someone looks like someone else and has an “american girl” name (sophie, hailey, kirsten, amanda, or any other generic white girl name) I will easily confuse their name with someone else’s. I’m horrible with Nicoles and Laurens and my students suffer from it all the time. “Lauren, point your feet. LAUREN! POINT!… oh crap you’re Nicole… and I knew that.”

    Great post Steph. Very Funny.

  2. I try to either compliment the person a detail of their personality or appearance, and/or make up an amusing story about them. This lends itself well to stuff like “Hey Malcolm, nice to meet you and what a great handmade suit!” Inner monologue: “Man, he must have felt awkward standing around in his underwear with a tape measure running up his leg. Hahaha!” Thus Malcolm is the dude with the great suit who got felt up by his tailor in my head, and there’s no way I’m forgetting that name.

  3. Hahaha, love it, Brendan! Please tell me you have actually met someone who makes their own suits.

    And Kris: Yeaaa, I have specific sets of people that I seem to have a freaking mental block on their names. It’s like the initial, “Oh shit, what’s that person’s name?!?” has been ingrained forever. There’s no hope now. And thanks!

  4. Pingback: A BIG week for Krisrael « Krisrael's Blog

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