For the Guys / Style

The Male Appearance: Attitudes of the Well-Groomed pt. 2

Welcome back, and happy Thursday to you. Last week’s topic of attitudes is an important one, and I want to give more insight. Be sure to check out how to NOT be a stylish jerk before reading onward.

This is not the goal. No one wants this. Don’t let it happen.

The three points I highlighted last week were Accepting Compliments, Remembering Your Roots, and Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin. If you focus on no other parts of your character, focus on these three and people won’t hate you entirely.

1. Accepting Compliments – You put effort into your appearance. You should be proud of that; however, being too proud is ugly. Your presentation moved someone enough to take time out of the day and exert energy to compliment you, which I would presume makes you feel good. Rejecting a compliment or rudely responding with something like “I know, right?!” is a slap in the face of the complimenter.

How do you counteract/prevent this?

When people talk to you, chances are you are (or you should be) listening to them, and research shows that using active listening skills not only creates more substantive conversations, but also subconsciously reciprocates their compliments.  How do you do this? Listen to them! Stop, take a nanosecond-and-a-half to hear what they say, comprehend it, then respond. That small pause shows them you are processing their words. The best response to a compliment is, “Thank you!” So simple, yet so profound! If you want, add another snippet: “Thank you! This is a new shirt; I appreciate it.” Try it out. You will be happier, it will show, and most likely, the compliments will flood in more.

2. Remembering your Roots -As I said last week, no one is born with style.  Instead, style grows and evolves with each individual. And wouldn’t it be cool to have an influence on someone else’s style?

We all want to make a difference in the world, but we’ve got to start small and work our way up. The easy option is to wait for others to compliment you and then provide your input; however, you can stimulate and inspire others simply by complimenting them! By giving a compliment, you are showing someone your appreciation for their efforts toward their appearance. They will not only feel great, but inspect your style and see, in just a glance, if there is something they will adopt into their style. This is most commonly done with hair styles. Try complimenting one person this week, see their reaction, and even observe their style and try to incorporate something you like. The most important advice in giving compliments is to be genuine.

3. Be Comfortable in your Own Skin – This seciont is in response to a comment from a few weeks ago. Someone asked for a post regarding styles for a straight man who gets hit on by gay men.

Nazis identified Jews by a label on their clothing. Not a wise idea to do this now, is it?

I don’t know how obvious I can make this: people’s sexuality, gender, or orientation doesn’t define how they dress. These factors may influence style, but they will never be a definition. There are plenty of well-dressed straight and gay men. There are just as many gay and straight men who don’t worry about their appearances. With that said, perhaps we should look to women for tips on how to deal with men hitting on you, especially when you aren’t interested in their come ons. Just so you know, I am not crazy; VICE (an avant-garde, modern-day website) published a Straight Man Guide to Gay Clubs, which, though specific to the club scene, can be applied to many other situations. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the less it will matter who is hitting on you. If you don’t freak out when a girl you don’t find attractive hits on you, then you shouldn’t freak out when a guy hits on you. And who knows, with enough charm, a couple of smiles, and a few minutes of conversation, you could get a free drink out of it! Think about it, girls have been doing it for eons! Why can’t you?

With these scenarios, examples, and attitudes, remember that individual actions and character are still important. As morbid as it may sound, without substance to your personality and character, you will only dress a carcass.

Next week: as the temperatures rise, so do our pant legs.

Fret not! This won’t happen to you!

Next week, I’ll bring some insight into summer clothing options for your legs!

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Until then,

Keep it classy.

The Guy with the Red Hair.

photo cred:
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